Today is an Uposatha day and I’m lucky enough to be able to observe it. If you have seen the last few posts you know I’ve become fascinated with lojong practice and tonglen again simply due to its apparent power to reshape ones relationship to others and especially for its ability to transform my interactions with my immediate family.
You see, my home life is far from what i would call idyllic and often far from what i would consider the ideal for a Dhamma-farer. As a result, i have become increasingly concerned with bringing my behavior and comportment in line with the Dhamma at home add much as anywhere else and have determined that i will only consider my practice successful when i find myself treating my wife and children with the same metta, karuna, mudita and upekkha that i ape to bring to all of my other relationships.
Why is this so hard? Why should they’re be such a chasm between my life as a practitioner outside of the home and while in the role of a father and husband? I don’t know why but i seem to have made the mistake of seeing these as two, mutually exclusive domains and it’s a mistake that i intend to correct as soon as possible. It’s precisely here that i have found the lojong Teachings to be so helpful and the slogan to “Drive all blames into one” to be especially helpful. By accepting fault for anything my wife or children choose to lay on my shoulders i can at once defuse the situation and remain in a heart space where compassion able loving-kindness are yet possible.