For as many successes I have enjoyed these last few weeks I have also experienced minor setbacks. Take this morning for example: knowing how fraught the mornings can be preparing the kids for school I was watchful and ready to face down any anger or ill will but once I got out the door I lost my bearings completely.
The first hint that I had left go of metta was when we were stepping of the train and a younger man stood blocking the way. I think this is a special part peeve of those of us in NYC who use the trains daily but I was righteously indignant that he couldn’t wait for myself and maidstone get of before pushing his way in. I caught myself and mentally asked forgiveness from him for my ill will add we walked up the stairs but I had lost my mindfulness by that point. The next incident happened as we crossed the street and it appeared that a few cats wanted to run us down rather than wait for the light. This time I actually said something to the effect of “What? You want to run over my kid!?”
Clearly these are minor defeats but can’t be overlooked. May I remain steadfast in mindfulness of loving-kindness and may I learn to be harmless to all beings.