Posted by: Upāsaka | 12/29/2015

What do I really want?

This morning as I sat in the train and almost absent mindedly began to wish everyone on the train happiness it struck me that maybe I was busy gong through the motions. So, I paused for a moment and posed the question to myself “what is it the I really want?”

In the brief silence things are bubbling up but the clearest thought was simply that I didn’t want suffering in any of its myriad forms. I pondered that fit a bit and then thought “surely there is something not merely apophatic about my ultimate desires” and it dawned on me that, yes, I also want happiness but one that is blameless and doesn’t cause further suffering. Neatly (perhaps too neatly) I realized that the only happiness that I had ever felt that was blameless and pure cane about whether helping others and wishing them well.

Turns out that I was on the right track after all but I’m thankful for this little exercise undertaken in earnest and with so valuable a result.  Sukhita Hontu!

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