Posted by: Upāsaka | 02/25/2016

Overwhelmed

Yesterday I was completely overtaken by the idea that humanity has so little time left on this planet. The very real possibility that gunmen civilization will be reduced to nothing and that we can expect increasing warfare, instability, famine and plague obsessed me for the better part of the day and I woke up with a feeling of dread as a result. I feel complicit in the destruction by doing what I do but it seems that there’s just no alternative. I think what particularly disturbs me is the date of my children. And, when I contemplate the truth that they are no different from children anywhere it only serves to make the heartache worse. Obviously this calls for some equanimity but I have been completely swamped by the fear, pain and suffering that I’m sure billions of us will soon have to bear.

And I’m dealing with it the only way I know how; through dedicating myself to the practice. Fear of such intensity has a way of causing doubt to crop up everywhere but I am fortunate enough to have enough experience not to heed it completely. And the one thing that has given me hope and solace is to take up a more rigorous regimen of practice to help turn even my daily life into a field of merit for all. In other words in talking up the voluntary precepts I set out in the Abhaya-cariya page. May we all be free of pain and suffering and make a light for ourselves for the coming darkness. 

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