Posted by: Upāsaka | 04/22/2016

Dissemble in Metta

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot of aversion coming up around social obligations and interactions with friends and family. It seems that I just want to be left alone when I want to be left alone and surrounded by loving peers when it suits me. Obviously this is a crazy thing to ask of life but it’s precisely where my desires impel me.

Thinking about all of this I’ve come to realize that there may may be a place for skillful dissemblance in the form of restraint. Restraint with regard to speech especially and less so in terms of thought and action. Now I’m not saying that one should pretend to love a situation by extolling its supposed virtues but I am advocating for keeping one’s mouth shut and trying to regain from giving nonverbal cues indicating one’s displeasure.

And why so much ado?  Simply to spare the feelings of others and express affection despite momentary discomfort. 


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