Posted by: Upāsaka | 10/07/2016

Confession of Fear

Last night, when I got home, I found a homeless man sleeping in my apartment lobby. I literally had to do a double take to realize what was going on but add soon ai gained my bearings I asked him to leave. I don’t recall exactly what I said but I remember being respectful and saying something to the effect of “sorry sir, you can’t sleep here.”

Obviously he wasn’t happy with that and starred to complain so I, unthinking, immediately said I would call the cops if he didn’t leave immediately. Things took a turn for the worse and he began dating me to do so at which point I myrummaged through bag to find my knife while calling 911. As I was on the phone with the operator describing the man he decided to get up and leave which brought an abrupt end to the situation but in the hours since I’ve wondered if I could have handled it better. 

Instead of immediately seeing him add a threat could I have approached him from a place of compassion and helpfulness? What if I had approached him without fear and offered him a flat or to buy him dinner while escorting him out? Who knows hire it would have turned out but I would have liked to meet the situation with care rather than aversion. May I do better in the future. 

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