This morning I began to work with the first tetrad of anapanasati in earnest. I’ll be honest: although the first half hour went well the last twenty minutes were an all out struggle. After so many years at this meditation thing I’m beginning to realize just how crazy my expectations are. Do I really think that sitting for fifty minutes one a day was all it tool for the Lord Buddha and his arahant disciples to understand and gain release? I know that I used to but these days I’m beginning to realize how wrong I’ve been.
Am I willing to put work into the causes, developing patience and determination without seeing explosive results for years, maybe even lifetimes? I have to say that I am. What other choice do I have? And, as I aim for jhana and then wisdom, at least I’m cultivating the qualities necessary for success in any endeavor.