This morning during meditation I had a moment that seems not very noteworthy now but was crucial to change the direction of the drain and, perhaps, my day.
I began with sending metta to a Republican Senator and Donald Trump and then moved on to kayanupassana as I have been grappling with some desire lately. Due to my own perceived failings I this regard I noticed that there was some self-aversion there. As I began to focus on metta for myself I realized that I needed to forgive myself and let go to be able to successfully cultivate kindness for anyone else.
Why did this strike me? I can’t really explain it now but it’s clearer than ever that I am holding on to the aversion and I don’t have to. There is no escaping kamma and, yet, guilt and self-flagellation are worse than useless.
Everyday I undertake to forgive all harms as soon as I am able.
May I not make a liar of myself by failing to forgive my own.