My wife and I have been going to counseling for a few months but yesterday’s session threw me off balance due to something the therapist said. In essence, she located part of our problem in my desire to take care of my wife and kids without making my own wants known. In other words, she believes that part of the problem is that I haven’t prioritized or expressed my feelings and I’m uneasy with this.
Putting my wants first seems to me to be a recipe for disaster so I think there may be another way to understand het advice. It seems to me that the problem may be one of communication more than anything else. My real desire it’s to be of service and cultivate the heart rather than the thoroughly mundane aims the therapist deems appropriate. In other words, I can schedule a getaway, arrange a date night or a lunch not because those things are important to me but because they are ways to connect with my wife.
Clearly, this area needs work and I’m going to be trying to tease this out in the coming weeks.