Busyness

Posted by: Michael Rickicki | 02/16/2013

Busyness

I have spent the greater part of the lat few days working ridiculously long hours because of issues at my company which I won’t describe in any detail. Nonetheless, suffice it to say that we are facing a cash crunch which we can only remedy by getting more of our product to market. Cue the interminable string of 14 hour days. So, rather than being able to devote more tie to the practice I find myself with less time to practice and a gnawing anxiety prodding me on to work ever longer hours. What is interesting is that II have watched a gradual darkening and cramping of the mind to the point where I have forgotten about the breath entirely for hours at a time and even neglected to post yesterday at all. And, when I actually sit down for formal meditation my poor mind is awash in endless thoughts about work, anxiety-driven nightmare fantasies about every worst-case scenario imaginable and even horrifying scenes that I’ve seen on online video game ads or YouTube. It’s as if the mind has returned to its former untrained and incredibly crude in the space of a few days’ time and it is certainly not a pleasant experience. Maybe this is what is meant by that line in the Karaniya Metta Sutta that says one who wants to practice the path to peace should be “unburdened by duties.”

So, as I sat for my formal meditation period this morning and watch alternating waves of planning for work and macabre phantasmagoria crash through my mind I realized I needed something a bit more potent than simply reflecting briefly on my generosity for a fw seconds to brighten my mind. Gratitude was what immediately went to and I soon realized I was reflecting on the gifts of the Ti-sarana and most especially on the endless kindness, compassion and generosity of the Lord Buddha. In a way I suppose that my object had shifted from the breath to Buddhanussati and this was precisely what I needed to lift my mind from the fog. Anyone who has ever played with meditation knows that there’s no such thing as a silver bullet but being able to reflect on the virtues of the Lord Buddha help to energize the mind and clear away the tendrils of sloth, torpor and darkness that were wont to envelop the mind.

After meditation I felt like I yet wanted to dwell on the Ti-sarana and happened to open my chanting book to the Mahā Jayamaṅgala Gātha which I will include in full below: